This is the week when I have to come clean and come out of the closet and tell people who I really am. I’ve lost so many friends so far by telling them :( I’m just scared. Being bisexual wasn’t a choice, it’s who I am. I just want to turn over a new leaf. I want to be myself. I want people to know…. but I’m scared.
Actually really tired of being alone…. But I’m waiting for the right person to come along…. Struggle…
Sometimes feelings punch you in the face…. And you have to be like “Nah I’m not going to be sad… Cause I’m fucking awesome. Fuck you feelings. I’m fucking awesome. One day someone’s going to think I’m so awesome that they won’t want anyone else to have me. So yea. Fuck that shit.”
This isn’t my main page so I’m not going to say…. I’m remaining anonymous.
I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve fallen hard for this guy. And I can tell he likes me too. But I don’t understand. I’ve done a lot. I’m the one who messaged him first, gave him my number first, and pretty much grabbed his face and kissed him. His friends say he has absolutely no game, which is true, and it’s frustrating. I feel like he thinks I’m not worth it or something. Like someone else is better. But every time I’m with him all I want to do is hug him or kiss him. I don’t know how to describe it. He makes me feel comfortable, like its right. It probably sounds stupid I know. I miss stupid things like holding hands, how he uses tickling to get closer to me, or how excited he gets when he talks about something he’s passionate about. God. I’m such a girl about this. People are just like “ask him out already”, but I don’t think he wants me to. What if there’s another girl he likes more and I’m just the other girl? What if it’s all in my head, and my feelings don’t matter? And I don’t think I could physically do it either. I asked a friend to homecoming senior year and I almost puked I was so nervous. -_- I’m so torn. Do I go for it? Or do I let him figure it out? Does he feel the same way? Or am I just an idiot? But I’m supposed to be strong right? And be ok with being single? Well I guess I failed. It gets hard being that girl 24/7. If you’re wondering how a girl thinks, this is it.
I’m tired of wanting the wrong people. The people who treat me like shit are the ones I date. I just want to be with the right one already. I’m sick of sleeping alone. I’m sick of being let down. All I do is take care of people and make them feel better…. I just want someone to take care of me. I want my perfect guy. The really really handsome guy with a great personality. Why can’t that love be real? Where is my Prince Charming?
This just sucks. I really like you, and you like me. We held hands the other night and it was adorable…. Even though you were drunk. I like spending time with you but I feel like we run out of things to say…. But I really like you. I’m not sure if you want this too. I mean, you say you do, but then you kind of just ignore me for a while…. How do I know if you are really trying…. Or if I’m just a pretty toy?
I’m trying….. I just feel alone in this
im sick of hoping everything will turn out perfect.
im sick of hope.
im sick of being hurt or being left alone.
im sick of needing someone all the time because it’s too dangerous to be by myself.
just want my roommate to leave so I can cry………
i’m so sick of these depression cycles.
Why can’t I be one of those girls who is happy all the time?
I just want it all to end.
Im scared to tell you how much I hate myself…. because you might not like who I am. Who would love a broken girl? Who would love a depressed girl with scars and anxiety? I really like you and I don’t want you to leave…. but I always seem to scare the good ones away.